I am not saying I was abandoned so much as… released into the wild with angry words in a foreign language and a phone battery at 14%. One minute I'm confidently vibing like a woman who knows where she's going, the next I'm standing in a puddle that feels vaguely hostile, holding my purse like it contains ancient wisdom and maybe a flare gun. Reader, it did not.
This was originally a Casserole Confidential email dated May 17, 2025.
Hey y'all,
I went radio silent for a few days because I was off having what I naïvely assumed would be a chic little New York City business getaway. You know-walks, food, vibes, meetings, Main Character Energy. Hallmark but with a Wall Streeet vibe.
What I got instead was a full-blown urban survival tale with a supporting role played by an Uber driver who chose chaos over charm. Again, this situation was not the basis for a Hallmark movie.
Picture it: pouring rain. Traffic everywhere. Neon lights bouncing off wet pavement like the city itself is mocking you. I'm riding along, minding my business, and heading to a meeting, when the driver suddenly stops. In the middle of a busy street. Just… stops. Turns around and announces he can't find the address. And instead of doing literally anything helpful-pulling over, checking a map, trying-he tells me to get out. Right there. Rain. No clue where I am. Zero apology.
Reader. I was not calm.
I exited that car with the kind of righteous fury usually reserved for women who have lost their last 50 cents in cash in the public restroom feminine products machine during an emergency.
I slammed the door with Olympic-level passive aggression. The kind that echoes. The kind that says, "I hope you think about this later."
He responded by cussing me out, which felt unnecessary given that he had just abandoned a woman in a strange city like it was a casual personality quirk. So naturally, I blessed his heart right back. Thoroughly. Fluently. In sailor-speak.
I refined my swearing game in boot camp, obviously.
Maybe I should call it army-speak. Either way, the lesson stands: never underestimate a woman in a red dress, in the rain, with a suitcase and nothing left to lose.
Glad it happened to me and not you, right?
(Y'all, there might be affiliate links below-gotta keep the coffee flowing so I can keep sharing the recipes you love!)
🇺🇸 Memorial Day Munchies
Fire up the grill, slap on some red lipstick, and pretend you didn't forget to defrost the meat - these recipes are here to save your backyard bash.
Texas Dry Rub
This is the magic dirt. The secret handshake. The thing you shake onto meat like you're blessing it before a long journey. Smoky, salty, just spicy enough-this dry rub makes chicken, pork, and beef behave like they know they're lucky. Keep a jar on the counter. Flex on store-bought seasoning blends. Sprinkle with authority.
Lipton onion soup burger
If you grew up in a house where dinner showed up no matter what, this is that energy. These burgers are juicy, beefy, unapologetically old-school, and powered by the little packet that raised half of America. Grill them. Pan-fry them. Serve with pickles and Carole King crooning in the background. Nostalgia with grill marks.
Old- fashioned macaroni salad
Cold, creamy, classic Memorial Day fare, and the reason Betty at the church potluck still glares at me- because mine doesn't taste like wallpaper paste.
Classic homemade potato salad
Cold, creamy, and ready to start a family argument over mustard inclusion. This potato salad knows what it's doing-tender potatoes, the right amount of tang, and none of that weird sweet nonsense unless you're into chaos. It's the kind of side dish that gets scraped clean before the main course is even noticed. Guard it like a secret.
Huli Huli Chicken
Sweet, sticky, and a little bit flirty -basically everything I was warned not to be at the Ladies Auxiliary "bring your spouse" luncheon. Saucy island energy with a little smoke and a lot of attitude. Backyard vacation vibes. No plane ticket required. Flip it, baste it, pretend you're on a beach instead of answering emails.
🧊 No-Bake & Not-About-to-Sweat Desserts
Because turning on the oven in May should be a criminal offense in the South. These sweet treats keep you cool, collected, and downright smug.
Strawberry shortcake ice cream cake
Layers of strawberry and vanilla ice cream, strawberry crunchy topping, and Cool Whip -basically what happens when June Cleaver gets tipsy on spiked lemonade and experiments just happen to work.
Strawberry filled angel food cake
Fluffy cake, fresh berries, and Cool Whip pretending it's whipped cream-like your aunt who insists she was this close to being Miss Texas 1962.
Chocolate chip cookie delight
Pudding, whipped topping, and chocolate chip cookie stacked like your mama's church hairdo-sweet, messy, and layered with drama.
Strawberry punch bowl cake
Big-dish energy. Church-potluck legend. This is cake that shows up loud, pink, and unapologetic-layers of fluffy cake, juicy strawberries, and clouds of whipped goodness all tangled up like summer memories and gossip. It feeds a crowd and still disappears fast. If the summer of 1968 had a perfume, it'd smell like this.
No bake eclair icebox cake
No baking. No stress. Just layers of graham crackers, vanilla pudding, and glossy chocolate frosting doing the Lord's work overnight in your fridge. Looks absolutely shiny and complicated but isn't-just like my hair color, thank you very much.
Found on Amazon
If you're hauling your famous casserole to the church social or just heading next door to show Linda what a real side dish tastes like, a cute casserole carrier is your best friend-keeps it warm, keeps you classy, and lets everyone know you came to win. And while we're talking kitchen must-haves, let's not forget a proper bacon grease container. Whether you're frying, sautéing, or just honoring the Southern code of conduct, that liquid gold deserves better than an old coffee can. No, Linda - an old Cool Whip container doesn't work as well. Treat it-and yourself-right.
Bacon Grease Storage Container with Strainer
talk soon!
love ya!
PS - Get more Casserole Confidential stories like Top 10 Recipes for 2025 (plus a woodland creatures tale)
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