But too good not to share it.
Backtrack with me, k?
On Monday last week I got a letter from the VA hospital letting me know that I had a sonogram on my thyroid scheduled on August 6 at 1 o clock. I asked her why, when I thought they had decided to remove it. She was a little snotty, but patiently explained to me that the doctors had ordered it, they knew what they were doing..etc. Did I know more than the doctors, hmmmmm?
Tuesday Marc tried to find out what was going on by talking to a doctor while he was up there. The doctor told him that they had not decided what to do, the surgeon was in Africa, AND since my blood work was all normal there was no reason to take the thyroid out, despite the fact that I am horribly, horribly symptomatic. Marc tried to argue but…to no avail. Did HE know more than the doctors…hmmmm?
On Saturday as you know I got a phone call which let me know I was scheduled for day surgery August 6 at 6 a.m… Interesting….
So I had to go with Marc to the VA this morning about HIS upcoming procedure (we call it the tazer test, electric stimulation of various nerve clusters to check for damage, he has had it before) and after talking to his doctor we had a few minutes. I thought it would be nice to explain to the people in radiology that I was having my thyroid removed the morning of the 6th.
Have you ever felt like you were in a Saturday Night Live comedy skit? I did. I went to the first person. She glared at me.
“Ma’am move BACK behind the sign”
Mkay….but there was no one at the desk. I move back obediently. She looks up and bellows at me… “NEXT!”
I go up to the desk and explain the story.
“You will have to talk to our scheduler. Next window.”
I obediently walk to the next window. The woman there is talking to a patient. For hours. They talk about where he lives, what he does, what foods he likes, the color of his underwear…well not that..but you get the idea…Finally he leaves and I step up to the window.
She turns away and begins to work on the computer.
She turns, see me and jumps. “Oh! Can I help you?”
Me,”Yes…” and I proceed to tell her the story.
The phone rings and she answers it. She starts to talk and then glares at me. “Move away from the desk please.”
She finishes talking and calls me back to the desk.
“Can I help you?”
I explain the story again. She is obviously one of our fine veterans with short term memory loss….
She looks at me for a minute when I am done.
“So, did you want to reschedule the sonogram for a later time?” She looks at me hands poised above the keyboard.
“They are taking it out.”
“Yes, well then..how about …hmmm….August 17th? At say…..2:00?”
“I am having my thyroid removed the 6th”
“Right. So do you want to try to make the appointment the afternoon of the 6th?”
“Uh….” I am frantically looking at Marc at this point. He is trying not to laugh.
“We can make it earlier. You may not feel well after the surgery and want to get home as soon as possible” She gives me the expectant look again.
“Ummm…” I lean up to the window. “I….am…having….it…removed…. It won’t BE there.”
“Yes ma’am. So would you like the appointment closer to your surgery time?”
I am not looking around for a camera and Alan Fundt. Maybe Rod Serling.
“No, if it is closer to the surgery then what if the doctors aren’t done…REMOVING MY THYROID?”
“Good point. SO you want to leave it at one o clock then?”
“Fine.” She types into the computer “just have the surgeon call us if it looks like you wont be able to make the appointment and we can reschedule.” She smiled expectantly “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“Uh, no. Thanks. That is …umm..fine”
So I am thinking of asking the surgeon to put my thyroid in a jar so I can take it to radiology. Then they can sonogram it every day if they want.
And people keep asking me why I don’t think nationalized health is a good idea.